The role of emotions

Wednesday February 23, 2022, by Mélio ARJONA.


Illustration of different emotions

Emotions, if not managed, can quickly pollute our private life. The ability to accept them better is called emotional intelligence. So, in order to make them a strength rather than a weakness, it is better to know how to identify, understand and express them.


Whether they are pleasant or not, we all feel emotions, naturally. It's okay to be angry, ashamed or sad. Just like it is not obligatory to laugh, to be happy or peaceful. Emotions are unique to everyone, as are the reactions and expressions they entail.

Identifying an emotion will be the first step that can allow you to better manage it. Indeed, without knowing what it is, it is often difficult to resolve the problem. Pinpointing the nature of the emotion felt (and if possible, its source) will already be a big step towards emotional reconciliation.

The first step having been completed, it is now a matter of understanding what we have managed to identify.


In order to best express what we feel and to be understood when we do so, it is important to understand our emotions ourselves.

Now that we have successfully identified them, we can seek to understand them. Understanding an emotion means understanding the things hidden behind it: the reaction, the need, the perception or even the consequence (the action that results from it, the expression of the feeling).

Let's take an example: a friend criticizes you for a type of behavior that he doesn't appreciate in you. This makes you particularly sad and you have been thinking about it constantly for several days now. You think that what makes you terribly sad is the simple fact that this person reproached you. However, there is more behind this. In reality, your need to be esteemed and recognized within a group is not met. This is ultimately what weighs on you more than the reproach itself. Perception will be the fact that you realize that you give a lot of importance to the way others see you.

From this observation, you can work on yourself to better manage what you feel the next time a similar situation happens to you.


Now, let's move on to the step that may seem the most complicated: expressing your emotions.

Expressing one's feelings has many benefits: informing our interlocutor of what we feel, facilitating the relationship with our interlocutor, better managing our emotions in the future or simply feeling lighter. This expression can be individual as well as addressed to someone else.

It must be done sincerely, so that the message you really want to convey is clearly understood by your interlocutor. For example, when a parent expresses anger towards their child when in reality they (the parent) felt fear.

Emotions will always be there, they allow us to live in the present moment and feel it in a unique and personal way. They also allow us to put words to what we feel and this can help us communicate with others.